Why I marched for women, and why I don’t care if you wanted me to

One week ago today I took part in something historical – the largest protest in the U.S. – and possibly worldwide. On Saturday, January 21, more than three million or more people across the globe marched for WOMEN.

The truth of the matter is this: with such a widespread movement, it’s hard to put into words what we marched for and what it meant to all the individual people who stood up and made their voice heard. Some did it for unity; some did it for LGBTQ rights; some did it because they were pro-choice and some did it because they don’t like our nation’s leadership.

For me, however, I didn’t march to “bitch about Trump” or because I want to “kill babies.” I marched because despite having “equal” rights, things aren’t quite as equal as people think they are; I marched because I am terrified for the next four years and what it could mean for women’s rights; I marched because I am tired of hearing people excuse “locker room” talk; I marched because I am an intelligent and capable human being, regardless if I have a vagina or not, and should be responsible for deciding what happens to my body. But most importantly, I MARCHED BECAUSE I COULD.

I have a loving husband at home who understands that women are not equal to men; he listens to my tirades about the fact that women still aren’t paid the same as a man (and I’m not saying I should get the same amount of money just because I’m female, no, I’m saying I should get the same amount of money as a man if I’m just as qualified and experienced).

He listens to my grumblings about the fact that tampons and pads are taxed, while Rogaine isn’t. He understands why it upsets me that a woman has to jump through hoops to have her tubes tied if she’s under a certain age or childless – because we’re women, right? We can’t possibly NOT want children, so it’s good that doctors are there to tell us we shouldn’t have our tubes tied. Meanwhile, men, can walk in and have a vasectomy without receiving the third degree about their marital status or child quota. How is that fair? How is that equal?

He listens to my frustration as I try to figure out why so many people – women included – are AGAINST women.

And I get that my rant probably makes me look like a man hater, but I assure you I absolutely am not. I love my husband. I love my son. I love my brother, my father and many of my friends’ partners and husbands. I’m not saying it’s all the men in the world ganging up on women. I’m simply saying somewhere along the way, society has decided what’s proper for men may not be proper for women, and well, that shit just ain’t right.

So there’s a lot of wars being waged. People blogging about how they marched for other women, even the ones who don’t get what the women’s march is about; people blogging about how they don’t want women to say they’re marching for them and how they don’t support the movement at all. 

So now is probably the time where I am supposed to tell you that I was marching for you, even if you don’t understand or support why we’re raising a fuss.

But ya know what, I’m not going to do that. Part of why I so strongly believe in the women’s movement, is because it awards you – as a woman – the power to make your own decision. So if you don’t want me to march for you, then I’m going to assume you’re a strong, intelligent, capable woman who has considered her options and decided you don’t agree with the women’s movement. And while I may not get that, I RESPECT your decision to do so.

But I will tell you this. As a woman who does support this movement and does believe in the cause, I won’t march for you, but I will march for your future daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, mother or any other female in your life. I will march for them because while you may not understand the movement or support it, they one day might, or heaven forbid, they one day might need someone to stand up for them because their rights have been taken away. So whether you want me to march for you or not, I’m going to keep marching for all those other people in your life, because even though you “don’t need to march for rights you think we already have,” not every person in your life may agree with you or feel the same way you do … and if nobody else will march for THEM, then I will.

But trust me, I promise, I’m not marching for YOU.

These reasons, and so many more that I didn’t delve into, are why I marched for women. And pardon my language, but I don’t really give a fuck if you wanted me to or not.

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  1. I didn't march and I don't agree with most of the movement. I have lived a bit longer than you but a lot less than others so I try to listen to my elders as well as hear what you have to say, always. I am so glad I know you. I am so glad you can bring these points to my attention. While the hats and vaginas were not okay with me at all, yucky! I do love how much you love people and I can tell by what you said that your intentions are true. You are very educated and direct, which I admire!! I will share this; there are many women in other countries who would not dare march or stand up and are oppressed so I do love that in this country, whether I agree with it or not, it is a right I have, if I choose to use it. ~ Tanya

  2. Unfortunately, during the campaign process and even more so after the Presidential election, I have become increasingly embarrassed to be an American. Even though America is, without a doubt, the greatest country on the planet, it is also littered with opportunities and disappointments. Racism, misogyny, prejudice and unwarranted hatred are just a few that come to mind. The current Administration did not invent these atrocities, but they are certainly doing little if anything to squelch them either. It is my perception, they are actually perpetuating them on a daily basis. I am honestly at a loss attempting to comprehend the small minded behaviors and actions which people continually find an excuse for or justification to hide behind. Atrocities performed and encouraged behind a facade of patriotism are still atrocities. Lies are still lies … unless they are alternative truths … and you are an ass clown for believing them. If someone sells you hate and calls it patriotism … you just purchased hate … and you are, yet again, an ass clown. The Women's March caused all that embarrassment to dissipate and be replaced with pride, joy, respect and hope. If you still think the Women’s March was just about women or abortions you are sadly misinformed. I would like to sincerely thank everyone who marched or supported someone who did. You brought a bright light and a beacon of hope to this abysmally dark and deplorable time in American history. You represent the America I am proud and honored to be a part of. The opposition will never understand true equality and I will never truly understand undeniable hatred, regardless of what alternative truth you call it. That being said, I will never stop opposing hate and supporting love.

  3. As a gay, HIV+, BLM activist, human rights seeking, vegan, I stand beside you, march with you and respect you, as I feel you respect me. Thank you.

    1. Mark, your feelings are correct! Thank you for your efforts each and every day to make this world better today than it was yesterday. You represent the America I am proud to be a part of. Keep on keeping on my friend.

    2. Thank you for your comment Mark, I love how such large groups of activists are finding similar goals to strive for. Keep fighting the good fight, and we will too! :)

  4. I'm making your vegan ham today. My entire apartment smells amazing and I'm only 3 hours into it.
    So far, so good.

  5. I was a Bernie bro and voted for Jill Stein so I'm anything but a conservative. The behavior I saw at the march was disgusting, vile, and perverse. It is one of many reasons I no longer identify as a progressive. I have flushed the rank tribalism we have descended into. I live on my little farm as far away as possible from the criminal insanity that defines my species. Pussy hats...

    1. You are more than entitled to your opinion and I appreciate you sharing it. And because I am welcome to mine, this is how I chose to have myself heard. In my small hometown rally, I witnessed nothing disgusting, vile or perverse, in fact, it was quite the opposite. We heard female speakers from a number of different groups, from LGBTQ to Native Americans, people put aside political differences and came together. I can't speak for every march across the world, but I was proud to be a part of the women's march in my community. Glad you're able to live the way you want on your farm; having the right to live the life you want is what this country is founded on, after all ... (legally of course)

  6. You know those park bench memes you see in Faceboo from time to time? "Who would you like to sit and have a chat with in this park bench?"
    Yeah, you. For sure. For hours. ♡

  7. I'm with you sister! If other people think vaginas are disgusting or yucky, that's they're hangup. They all came from them, so you'd think they'd be a little more accepting. We should support each other and that means supporting the equal treatment of all. And make no doubt about it, we are very far from it.