Five things I want to do as a mommy of ONE

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the back aches, the stretch marks, the weight gain and the leaky boobs that you forget what is really going to happen when you finally go into labor.

Practically the minute you hit 37 weeks it seems like labor can’t come soon enough. Your baby is officially «fully» cooked, you’re a mere three weeks away from your due date and as far as you can tell everything is pointing towards you meeting your baby really, really soon. 

And then a few weeks go by and you STILL haven’t had that baby. And everyone keeps asking you if you’ve had the baby yet, how close you are, when you’ll be induced or even why you haven’t. 

Don’t forget the unsolicited advice. The things about walking for miles on miles, drinking witch doctor teas and shoving oils and all sorts of other things up your lady parts. Oh and don’t forget to eat pineapple, drink castor oil and inhale spicy food. I’m all for tips, particularly when I ask for them, but it seems like everyone under the sun has become more informed about what’s going to put me into labor than my doctors. 

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement. Between the aches, pains and anticipation of meeting your new baby, it’s easy to forget about all the other things that come along with having a new baby. The new routine. The uprooted lifestyle. The change in pace. The lack of pace. The constant change. The breastfeeding. The no sleep. The guilt. The exhaustion. The diapers. The doctors appointments. The healing. The torn up body. The emotions. 

Oh, the emotions. 

So for as excited as I am to meet our new addition, I think I’m going to quit wishing on every last star that he’ll get here by Christmas. He’ll come when he’s ready and when he does it will be right.

Until then, I’m going to spend these last few moments, days, weeks as a mother of just one darling, smart, challenging, beautiful little girl. I’m going to cherish what’s left of our life as a family of three, the way I should have been. There are still five things that I have on my to-do list, before I’ll feel like I’ve fairly given every last piece of me as a mother of one to my daughter. 

For starters, I want to go to brunch, dinner, lunch, whatever one more time as a family of three. I want to go and let Pearyn pick whatever her heart desires of the menu, I want to parade her around and enjoy the peace of being able to go out to eat with one screaming, tantrum-throwing child instead of two. 

And once we’ve done that, I want to go somewhere completely and utterly sporadic. Just because we can. I want to go somewhere without a big, bulky diaper bag filled with goops and creams, I want to be able to throw a few necessities in my purse and just go somewhere, last minute, without a plan, because when you have a toddler, you can get away with those kinds of things. 

I want to sleep in the big, giant king-sized bed in our bedroom and snuggle with our little girl all night long. I want to fall asleep with half my body going numb and in a puddle of drool because she can’t go to sleep without cuddling. I want to wake up to her sweet little face telling me good morning and that it’s light outside, which means it’s time to play. 

And because that’s not good enough, I want one more day to dedicate to her. It doesn’t matter what we do, whether we watch the same four Scooby Doo reruns over and over again or she drives me bonkers playing and spilling water while I try to take a bath. I want her to put her hands on my stomach and tell me that when Baby B gets here, she’ll teach him how to crawl and she’ll changes his poopy diapers. I want her to grab her hand away quickly and giggle that he kicked her, only to respond by pinching my stomach and telling me that she just got his «biscuit.» 

I need more time to let her know that even though it’s just been us these last few years, having a sibling isn’t going to take away from any and every thing. It will be different, but that doesn’t mean it will be bad. And one day, she might even thank us for bringing a new kind of love into her life. 

Most of all though, I need enough time for me to know that, for me to be OK with that.

Christmas threw up in our house and other chubby vegan tales

I’m starting to think that I either need to blog every single day or I should just start every blog entry off like this.

No, Baby B has not made his appearance and yes, I am so «past» ready for him to be here.

Although I guess I’m not technically, 100% ready if I really, really think about it. I’m trying to take these last few weeks I have left and dedicate them to all things Pearyn. The guilt of spoiling our happy little threesome existence hasn’t really gone away, if anything, it’s multiplied because every time I utter «I’m sooooooooooo ready for him to be here,» I feel like I’m unhinging my daughter’s life and our happy, estrogen-filled bubble.

I mean, it’ll pass, eventually, right?

That or I’ll just be so sleep deprived I won’t be able to remember what I’m feeling guilty about?

Now that we got it out of the way, let me extend an extreme amount of gratitude for all of the concern and stories you’ve shared with me whether in email or comments regarding our daughter’s stomach issues.

I can’t begin to explain how reassuring it is to know that first, I’m not crazy for getting worked up over poop (or the backing up of it) and second, to hear that of the children who have gone through this type of thing, many have grown out of it.

 Despite her healthy, fiber-filled diet, the doctor recommended we introduce either an «aid» to her morning juice daily (ie: a mild laxative) or we could give some probiotics a whirl. After reading ridiculously positive reviews about Good Belly (a dairy-free, vegan juice with an awesome probiotic strand in it), we decided to give it a shot, only, in a daily, four-ounce increment instead of the eight-ounce recommended for adults.

And so far, knock on wood, our little girl is crazy regular and hasn’t complained of a cramp since. I don’t know if it’s the Good Belly or just her stomach and intestines having a good week, but I’ll buy this juice for the rest of my life if it helps her not wake up screaming and writhing in pain.

In other news, Christmas has not only visited the Chubby Vegan household, it’s throw up ALL over it. We’ve got these Christmas village taking over every flat surface our house has to offer (from television stands to DVD racks to side tables).

 There are stockings, lights and our Christmas tree could never, ever be mistaken for one of those fancy catalog ones. It’s covered in big, bordering on gaudy strands of lights, glittery bulbs and kiddie-themed ornaments.

We’ve got snow globes of every size, playing music and an advent calendar filled with vegan treats and chocolates. And lest we forget the Minnie Mouse doorknocker, the Minnie and Mickey window clings and the festive Minnie and Mickey plush dolls that just sit around looking all sorts of Christmas.

Tonight we’re going to tackle homemade Christmas ornaments to hand out as something little and personal that Pearyn was able to do (we plan on letting her paint them), they’re made from corn starch and baking soda, so I’m really hoping they turn out.

We’ll probably watch something holiday-themed too, which despite not having cable, ABC Family or Lifetime hasn’t been as hard as we thought it would be! Between our Roku and Blu Ray player we’ve had no problem streaming our fair share of Christmas movies and cartoons for Pearyn.

Eventually, there will probably be Christmas cookies made and if I get the energy, muffins galore to prepare for the baby’s arrival.

Because what is better that carbs, sugar and a little fruit for good measure?