My no-bake cheesecake shake brings all the vegans to the yard

Something happened last night.

I should probably mention that I'm basically the world's pickiest eater ever. It's not that I don't like a lot of foods, because I really do, it's mainly that I'm moody eater. I can't just eat tacos for dinner, unless I'm craving tacos for dinner. Between meal planning and trying to save money, I've trained myself to at least be able to pick  from one of the seven meals I have planned for the week, but things have been really hectic in this Chubby Vegan household and I've been lazy.

Then, last night, out of no where, I got the strongest, had-to-have, would drive to the moon and back, craving for vegan cheesecake.

Do you know what I absolutely didn't have an intense craving for? The whole process of actually to making and baking said cheesecake.

So after stewing for a while about living in a city where vegan cheesecake isn't readily available (I like to throw myself pity parties over things that aren't important, don't worry, I'm working on it), I decided if I was too damn lazy to make myself a vegan cheesecake, I'd have to to the next best thing, I'd make a cheesecake milkshake.

I figured this would be a piece of (cheese) cake. Surely with the plethora of milkshake flavors out there I'd be able to find some easy recipe for one to veganize.

Guess what, it basically doesn't exist. Unless you want to just pick up a hunk of cheesecake and put it in a blender with some milk and ice cream, you're basically out of luck if you want a cheesecake milkshake. (This posed a serious dilemma for me as I didn't want to waste time baking said cheesecake and waiting for it to set).

However, in the event you want "grandmas raspberry truffle cheesecake" or a "pistachio almond creme fresh cheesecake" milkshake, you'll find oodles of recipes for them. Apparently no body out there wants a lazy cheesecake milkshake like me.

So I present to you, dear readers, my take of a lazy, too tired to make real cheesecake, cheesecake milkshake.

I warn you, while an actual piece of cheesecake did not go into the making of this milkshake, the calories themselves speak otherwise. This is a special treat, one I recommend not having on a daily basis, as it would probably qualify for a "very naughty" dessert list.

The No-bake Cheesecake Shake 
(Serves one, duh)
3 big scoops of vanilla ice cream (we really dig Trader Joes soy creamy version)
1/3 container vegan cream cheese (we really dig Trader Joes)
1/2 cup almond milk (this is the consistency I like in my milkshakes, feel free to take away/add depending on how thick or thin you like it)
2 1/2 sheets graham crackers
1 TBS butter (we generally use Smart Balance Lite, the vegan version)

Take the butter and melt it in your microwave. Take your favorite mortar and pestle (or the bottom of a $3 spice grinder and bowl because you don't have a favorite mortar and pestle) and grind up the graham crackers into crumbs (or buy a vegan graham cracker crust if you're really lazy) and then mix with the butter to form a delicious looking crust. I'm telling you, don't skip the buttery crust part, it really adds to the shake.

Take your ice cream, cream cheese, almond milk and crust mixture and dump it into your favorite blender. We use the Vitamix, but what don't we use it for? Blend until the consistency you enjoy.

If you want to get especially fancy, feel free to add fresh fruit preserves to give it a little character, however, I strongly recommend enjoying this bad boy all by itself the first time.

Enjoy the hell out of it (but not too much, because it's probably really, really bad for you).


  1. This sounds AMAZING. Throw in some strawberries, and I am all over this business!!! I have a question, though - what brand of graham crackers do you use/where do you get them? I have yet to find vegan graham crackers. :(

  2. Health Valley makes a few varieties that use molasses or brown rice syrup instead of honey. Check out your local health food store, that's usually where we find ours. Every now and then we get lucky and find a random off brand that doesn't use honey, usually in their cinnamon varieties! Also, we make our own sometimes (especially if I'm going to the trouble of making a vegan cheesecake!) I'll post the recipe for it tonight or tomorrow! :)