This blog is brought to you by Angry Chubby Vegan Mom

There’s no easing into this.

Something has been irking me for days, weeks even and I’ve just got to get it off my chest.

Fix your damn pets already, people.

I’m so over the poor excuses. «Well, it’s mean.» Actually, it’s not mean. It helps lessen their aggression and can sometimes lower their anxiety as they won’t feel the strong urge to compete with other same-sex animals in the home. Do you know what IS mean? Not spaying or neutering your animal and then trying to diaper the poor thing, make it live outside for it’s entire spraying spell or letting it knock up some other completely irresponsible jackass’ unfixed animal. (Yup, I went there).

And I’m even more annoyed with the «But I can’t afford it» crap. Seriously? Do you know what you REALLY can’t afford? That animal of yours having an entire litter and then your trying to pawn all of its babies off on your family members (or worse, the infamous ‘free to good home’ on Craigslist). There are a bajillion low cost spay/neuter clinics all over the United States, so if you can’t come up with the cash for this then maybe you should forego getting a LIVING BEING that requires regular food, water and sometimes veterinary care.

And I’m not sure I should even go here, but if you’re still really trying to «breed» your super awesome purebred dog you’re just lame. With an average of four million animals being euthanized every year, I think you can shelf the «purebred» (aka need to earn a few thousand bucks) garbage and do us all a favor and fix your damn animals. Chances are we can find your «one of a kind» husky at thousands of shelters across the world. Thanks though.

In a perfect vegan world, we wouldn’t need to spay and neuter animals because we wouldn’t need to own them. But this isn’t a perfect world, let alone a perfect vegan one, so that unfortunately can’t be. So while we’re trying to find a way to coexist in this mixed up world, spaying/neutering (while it can feel like we’re infringing on the animals’ rights) is one of the most vegan things we can do. (And don’t you try to argue with me. Not spaying and letting a million animals be created to become strays or science experiments CERTAINLY isn’t more vegan, so hush).

This rant has been brought to you by an Angry Chubby Vegan Mom. One-third more filling than the average skinny vegan mom.

World’s easiest pasta bake

When I was growing up my mom used to make this dish called «Johnny Marzetti.»

Now, I don’t have a clue who Johnny Marzetti is, but I do know WHAT it is.

It’s a delicious tomato-based pasta bake that is probably one of the easiest, but homiest meals you can make on the fly.

The best part?

It only takes four ingredients! Seriously, only four!

Without further ado, make this awesome dish and proceed to watch everyone go back for seconds.

Johnny Marzetti
(serves 6-8)
Ingredients:
2/3 box of any kind of pasta your heart desires, we used rigatoni because they trap all the ooey marzetti goodness in the middle (a regular size one, I think they’re like 12 or 14 ounces).
1 28 oz can of tomato puree (not paste, not sauce, not diced, PUREE, this is vital)
1 package of Lightlife ground «beef» (one of the rare occasions we use fake meat)
1/2 bag Daiya cheddar cheese

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 375.
Boil your pasta for 10 minutes.
Drain pasta and mix in tomato puree and ground «beef.»
Pour into a 9X9 baking dish and top with Daiya.
Bake on 375 for 30 minutes (we always broil it for about 2-3 minutes to melt the cheese and get that crispy pasta bake goodness).

Chubby Vegan Mom is not accountable for the copious amount of Johnny Marzetti you might be possessed to consume.

Totally worth-it white bean sliders

I’m a girl who likes a good burger.

Since going vegan back in 2007, I haven’t had to search long for a good vegan burger. And considering my idea of cooking vegan was heating up a Boca Spicy Chicken pattie (seriously good), I ate my fair share of premade burgers. Although I most definitely have to give a shout-out to Luna Burgers, made in good ole Columbus, Ohio, which are hands down, THE BEST store-bought vegan burger I’ve had in my life. While you can only buy them at stores in Ohio and Kentucky, if you don’t live in one of these two fine states you can do yourself a big favor and hop on their web site and have some shipped to you. (You can thank me later).

Finally about six months ago I decided to try my hand at making burgers. So far, I’m not very good. Don’t get me wrong — the burgers taste great — they just don’t hold up the way I’d like them to.

But these Totally worth-it white bean sliders are no joke. They have a texture reminiscent of a crab cake (crispy on the outside, flaky and fabulous on the inside) but they’re made from cannellini beans and in mini-burger form they actually stay together pretty well.

Make them, share them — or don’t. Just enjoy the heck out of them!

Totally worth-it white bean sliders
(Makes 12-15 sliders)
Ingredients:
1 15 oz can of cannellini beans
1 onion diced thin
4 carrots diced mega thin
4 golden potatoes diced super thin
1/2 cup pepper relish
1/4 cup spicy mustard
1 cup panko bread crumbs
Splash of lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste
Oil for sauteing

Directions:
Dice up the onions, carrots and potatoes.
Splash some oil in a saute pan and cook cannellini beans, diced onions, carrots and potatoes for 15 minutes on medium heat.
Let the bean-veggie mixture cool for 10 minutes and then mash beans, onions, carrots, potatoes, pepper relish, lemon juice, mustard, salt and pepper in a bowl. (You can try a food processor, but it’s really easy to overblend this mixture and if it gets too thin it won’t work).
Mix in panko bread crumbs (1 cup should be enough, but if you’d like a little crispier texture in the middle add more).
Next, pour 1/2 inch of oil into a saute pan on medium heat. Let the oil get hot.
Roll the bean mixture into a ball  the size of a tangerine and then smush into pattie form.
Cook 4-6 at a time (depending on the size of your skillet) for 3 minutes on each side (or until light brown and crispy).
Let the burgers cool on a plate covered with a towel or paper towels for five minutes.
Add to your favorite mini bun (we used rolls) and enjoy with your favorite burger toppings!

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Brownies that make a $10 bottle of vegan caramel totally justified

For nearly two years I’ve been eyeing this bottle of agave syrup vegan caramel at the health food store. It looks delicious and at more than $1 an ounce, I have yet to buy it.

Until now.

I was having a serious craving for turtle candy brownies, you know, chocolate brownies with pecans and caramel. (Maybe you haven’t had those before, only those with the sweetest of sweet tooth have). So after reading some stellar reviews about FunFresh Foods vegan agave syrup caramel, my crazy craving won out and I bought the darn stuff.


And I tell you what, these brownies (and well, probably air), would taste better with this caramel on it. 


 Got a serious sweet craving you can’t squelch? Give these indulgent treats a whirl.

Brownies fit for a turtle
(Makes an 8×8 pan of brownies)
Ingredients:

1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 banana, mashed up
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Bottle of FunFresh Foods Caramel

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350.
Grease an 8×8 pan.  
Blend flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt in a bowl. Mix in sugar, oil, vanilla extract and the mashed up banana. Add chopped pecans. Mix until thick with a sandy-like texture.
Pour brownie batter into the pan. Top with caramel syrup (to taste, but don’t put too much or it’ll make the brownies soupy). Take a knife and swirl the caramel into the brownie mix.
Bake for 25 minutes.
Share with friends or you’ll eat them ALL.

Upside down vegan pizza pot pie

Upside down cheesy Heaven in a bowl.

 

It’s what’s for dinner. 

And trust me, it’s going to be what’s for dinner at your house right after you finish reading this recipe and buying all the ingredients.

Because it’s that good.

It’s actually better.

And FYI, it’s SO simple even husbands can conquer this one! (Not to mention you can make it extra manly with things like vegan sausage and pepperoni). I should also mention that although my husband DID make these easy cheesy pies of deliciousness,  he is actually incredibly skilled in the kitchen. Way more than me.

OK, enough with the gabbing, here’s the must-have recipe.

Upside Down Pizza Pot Pie
(Serves 4)

Pizza crust ingredients:

2 cups wheat flour

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 packet of fast rising active yeast

1 cup warm water

2 TBS olive oil

1 tsp salt

 

Everything else:

2 bags Daiya cheese (we got a little wild and mixed the pepper jack and mozzarella).

Baby bella mushrooms (quartered)

1 jar of whatever marinara your heart desires (we used a tomato basil one)

1/2 package of Gimme Lean vegan sausage (crazy delicious)
Italian seasoning (to taste)

(Feel free to add whatever ingredients you want, the trick isn’t what you add but WHEN you add it!)

Directions:

Combine flour, yeast and salt. Add warm water and olive oil, knead 2-3 minutes and form a ball. Place dough in a bowl on the oven with a towel on top and let sit for an 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350.
Take four small bowls (we used glass, two-cup baking bowls that we got at Bed, Bath and Beyond for $6.99) and line them with an incredibly thin layer of olive oil.
Next, distribute the two bags of Daiya into the four bowls evenly (aka, 1/4th of each bag in each bowl). YES, the cheese does go on the bottom!
Take a cup and smash the cheese down in the middle.
Add a handful of quartered mushrooms.
Top the mushrooms with a layer of sausage.
Scoop marinara on top of all the ingredients (they should be just at the bowl rim or a little above).
Sprinkle some Italian seasoning on top.
Now, take that ball of pizza dough you had resting on the oven and split it into four even balls. Roll those out and place them on top of your delicious pizza stack. (The crust should fall over the side a bit).
Place the four bowls on a baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes (until golden brown) and yummy looking, like this:

But that’s not good enough. Using your oven-mitted hands (because these bad boys are going to be SUPER hot), pick up the bowl and turn it upside down on a plate (crust side down). Tap with a spoon to help the cheese unstick from the bowl, (this is why oil was crucial).

Enjoy. IT ALL.

And then worry about the calories later!

This gets the Chubby Vegan Family seal of approval!

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And the winner is …

The winner of our first ever giveaway is …

Chubby Vegan Mom Groupie Vikki!

Vikki is a follower of the Chubby Vegan Mom Blog and Twitter! 

Vikki said her husband isn’t a big fan of cooking, so she’s usually the one making the meals. She’s been vegan for two years and is always on the lookout for more vegan recipes.

Congrats Vikki! 

I’ll contact you later to get mailing details!

Not a winner this week? Fear not Chubby Vegan Mom fans, there will be another giveaway next month! Be on the lookout next week for an announcement regarding the next AWESOME contest and what you can do to win!