The sausage, egg and cheese biscuit, reconstructed

Lets face it. While most things are pretty easy to veganize, scrambled eggs are a little bit trickier to mock and a lot of people are scared of tofu. I was afraid of tofu for the first year of being vegan, until my husband started making this delicious tofu scramble blend. So for my VeganMofo breakfast week, I decided to tackle at least one recipe that was an «eggy» dish AND one that wasn’t a dessert. Ha.

My parents gave us an idea to make a vegan version of their go-to breakfast biscuit, so we added a little tofu scramble, some crumbled «sausage» and vegan cheese to a simple Bisquick drop biscuit recipe. The result is a crunchy, golden brown exterior with a soft, hearty interior. This recipe makes about 20-24 biscuits, so feel free to freeze the leftovers for a quick and easy breakfast on the run.

Drop Breakfast Biscuits

(Makes 20-24 biscuits)
For the Tofu Scramble:
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon thyme, crushed with your fingers
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon Old Bay blackened seasoning

For the scramble:
1 lb. extra firm tofu, drained and pressed
1 «tube» Gimme Lean Sausage, crumbled
1 tablespoon olive oil
2-3 shallots (or you can use a medium onion, we think shallots have a sweeter flavor)
Minced garlic to taste (we use around two tablespoons)
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 cup cheese (we use Daiya because it’s crazy delicious and has a great stretchy quality)

For the biscuit:
4 1/2 cups Bisquick mix
1 1/3 cups almond milk

Blend the ingredients in a bowl, mix in a crumbled sausage and add Daiya cheddar cheese.
Tofu mixture should be crumbled but still chunky.
In another bowl, mix together Bisquick mix and almond milk. Mix together to form a sticky batter, don’t knead.
Stir the tofu scramble, sausage and cheese mixture in with the biscuit batter.
Using a large spoon, drop large scoops of batter onto a lightly-greased pan.
Bake for 10-15 minutes on 450 degrees, or until golden brown. The bottom will brown before the top, so don’t overcook!
Let cool for 5 minutes then enjoy a cruelty-free, cholesterol-free, not-quite-healthy-or-unhealthy breakfast!

The chubby vegan

A few days ago I was having an interesting conversation with my mother. We started discussing how we don’t really know anyone who has been raised vegan since birth and whether or not we’d be able to pick one out in a crowd.

She commented about how we all look the same and no one would really be able to tell, but once someone found out they might dig for something that «stood» out.

The catty, high schoolesque, mean girl in me snorted something along the lines of «oh, the girls would be easy to pick out, with their emo tattoos, tiny frame and 90-pound, 12-year-old girl, waif look.» It’s not that I really meant it, considering first, 99 percent of the vegan population doesn’t, in fact, look «vegan,» and most of the girls rocking the haven’t eaten in years look are on some crazy fad diet and aren’t following a «lifestyle.»

It’s not right to classify an entire group of people, but let’s face it, we’re probably all guilty of doing it in some capacity. And if you happen to be one of the teeny-weeny vegans I’m referring to and take offense to any of the above statements, do me one favor. Hop on any vegan clothing site and just do a quick rundown of the sizes. This past winter while on the hunt for a vegan pea coat (ie: one made without wool, because no, wool is not vegan, remember, we don’t use anything that comes from in animal, regardless if they were slaughtered or shaved in order to obtain said item) I discovered a correlation between myself and apparently every other female vegan in the world (or so the extra small to barely large sizing would lead me to believe).

I’m the chubby vegan.

I was unable to order my winter coat from any sort of vegan clothing store because if I wanted one which could cover my chest AND button up without popping, I’d have to order a very ugly, very not feminine male winter coat. A blah-black, boring, made for a man with no shape, pea coat.

Where’s the rule book that says a vegan can’t be curvy (ie: chubby)?

It almost seems like an oxymoron, right? Someone who consumes absolutely no meat or dairy (essentially no cholesterol) being a little big boned? Well, I may have made the choice to lead a compassionate lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I swore to give up junk food. And trust me, if you’re willing to pay, there is a plethora of vegan junk food.

Trust me, there are plenty of healthy ways to do vegan, and it’s one of the biggest perks to the diet aside from the moral standpoint. But to be completely, chubby-girl honest, no where in the definition of veganism does it say it’s about health. Do we all need to be a little more conscious of what we’re putting into our bodies and the havoc most of it is reeking? Sure. Does going vegan mean I’m suddenly not allowed to enjoy an Oreo? The last time I checked, no. (And yes, America’s favorite cookie is vegan, there I said it. I let the cat out of the bag).

Being vegan is about reducing suffering. It’s living a life which doesn’t require the killing or impairing of another sentient being. It’s about being put on this Earth not to treat animals with violence and ignorance, but with respect and compassion. Being vegan is about recognizing the right that every living being should have — to simply live (without being turned into your hamburger, jello, purse or trophy).

So what if I’m not your typical, itty-bitty, animal rights lovin, hippie dippy vegan. I’m a cupcake, nacho, macaroni and «cheese» soup eating, beer drinking, chubby vegan and I’m proud of it. I’m happy that I’m not the «waldo» of the vegan world, that you couldn’t pick me out of a crowd.

Maybe Pearyn will be the «stereotypical» vegan, maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll be a corporate, powerhouse vegan with a kickass «pleather» briefcase and a network of underlings. Or maybe she’ll be a meat-eating momma. I don’t know what my little girl will grow into. I just hope she figures it out for herself, instead of letting everyone else do it for her.

This post was reviewed and edited July 2014